Bryam: My Moment
by phineasandferb394
Summary: Bryanna is a social outcast. Jay is an nice emo college student. Liam is a fellow senior. WHO WILL WIN BRYANNA'S HEART? btw, this isn't a crossover...
1. Prologue: My Moment by Rebecca Black

A/N: Um hi guys! Okay, before you go and judge Ferb and me on our sappy and CHEESY romance story, THIS IS BASED ON REAL LIFE. So, haters gon' hate, potatoes gon' potate. Well, I hope you like it! And before you yell at me about it, I know Axe isn't hair gel. Like I said, this is based on real life XD

-Phineas

Have you ever been forced to do something or go somewhere against your will? Well, I know exactly how you feel. As much as I'm sure you would love to be bored to death by my complaining, I think I should start from the beginning.

My name is Bryanna Wan. I've been living in Spoons, Washington for as long as I can remember. But now, thanks to my WONDERFUL parents and Dad's new job, we've moved all the way to Smurf, California. Honestly, if it weren't for the threat to take away all of my food, I would have stayed in Spoons in the local neighborhood park and live as hobo. Yes, you heard me. Food is basically my life. I would marry it if it was legal. Anyways, you would probably guess the reason I wanted to stay in Spoons is because of my friends and family. Wrong. I never really had any friends; I was always the social outcast. Everyone was turned off by my mole. And as for my aunts and uncles and grandparents, I'm pretty sure they didn't even know I existed. Yep, that's how much my parents hate me. The worst part is, I'm starting school tomorrow, in the middle of the school year, in my senior year. What did I ever do to my parents? I should probably go to sleep now. Don't want to be late on the first day.

I was back in Spoons, and the guy I liked had finally noticed me asked me out and now we were doing our homework and studying together. I was so happy; this was more than I had ever hoped for! Until the fire alarm went off.

Wait-Ugh. That was my alarm. I groaned, turned around, and switched it off. Five more minutes wouldn't hurt. I went back to sleep, but the dream was gone.

I was soon woken up by my mother.

"BRYANNA WAN. YOU GET UP THIS SECOND. DO YOU WANT TO BE LATE FOR THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL?" she yelled in my ear.

"Ugh, coming!" I said. Gosh, could she be more inconsiderate? I fell out of bed and landed on the floor with a thump. I got dressed in my typical outfit: a yellow t-shirt and yellow shorts, then I spiked up my hair with Axe. Who cared about first impressions? I don't even want to be here. I checked the time and cursed under my breath. It was already 7:10, and first period of my long day was in five minutes. I raced downstairs and grabbed some money and a water bottle for lunch. I grabbed went to the garage to get my bike, then I thought YOLOOOOOOOOO I'LL JUST SKIP SCHOOL TODAY, and walked to the nearby Starbucks. I saw a tomato and ham sandwich that looked good, so I bought it. As I was walking to find a table, I found they were all full. I was about to leave when someone tapped on my shoulder. I spun around to face a college-age-looking guy with spiked up black hair and brown eyes. He caught me staring and smirked. I quickly looked away and cleared my throat.

"Do you need somewhere to sit?" he asked.

"Um, no thanks, I'm fine." I replied.

"I insist." He quickly said and pulled up a chair across from his. "So, what's your name?"

"I-It's Bryanna. Bryanna Wan."

"Lovely. I'm Jay Yinkelberg. Is that a tomato and ham sandwich you're eating? It looks good, but not as good as my tuna fish sandwich!"

"Right." I replied. After that, our small talk turned into an awkward silence. I quickly finished eating (not that it was hard, back in Spoons I won a key lime pie eating contest) and stood up to leave. "Well, thanks for letting me sit here…"

"No problem, er, Jose-oh." He said, also standing up. "Can I have your number?"

"What?" I was so surprised that he would ask me that.

"Your number? Can I have it?"

"Oh, sure." We exchanged numbers and I left. I was about to round the corner when a familiar looking car made me stop in my tracks.


	2. Chapter 1: Trampoline by Weezer

A/N: HEYHEY MY READERS! I hope you're enjoying the story so far :) I just realized how much of a cliffie Phineas left you with haha. I just wanted to say that also, we are going to TRY to upload every Saturday, but our schedule might change, due to summer and boredom :P. Alright I'm going to shut up now and let you enjoy the story. ~Ferb

* * *

I squinted, trying to look through the car, a Mustang's, window.

"BRYANNA WAN!" my mother barked, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF SCHOOL?"

"The-re-re was a sand-wi-wich mom-m, an-nd I like sand-wich-ches", I stuttered.

"WELL IT BETTER HAVE BEEN A GOOD SANDWICH! WHAT KIND?" she screamed.

"Toma-to-to and ha-am."

"Good." My mother smiled. "Now get in the car and let's go to your school."

I got into the car and my mom drove away. "GET A's!" She ordered, as we pulled into the parking lot. I nodded and gave her the thumbs up. As I entered the school, it was MADNESS. I ducked a flying book, and hurried through the hallways, checking my papers for my locker number. As I was looking down, I tripped over another girl and went flying. Luckily, I was pretty big myself so I broke the fall.

"I'm so sorry!" the girl apologized, "I wasn't watching where I was going!"

"It's okay", I said, just wanting to go to my locker already.

"My name is Swahili Baker.", she smiled, never taking her eyes off my mole.

"Bryanna Wan." I said, suddenly nervous. _Ugh this stupid mole. Now I'll never have any friends. _

"That's a cool mole." She commented.

"You're not turned off by it?"

"Nope." She said, grinning.

"Really? It's just I never had many friends because of this mole." I said cautiously.

"cool story bro."

"Okay… I'm just going to… find my locker."

"Kk, see you later! And oh im sorry cuz I just met you, and this might be a little crazy, but here's my number!" she pushed a piece of paper into my hand, "so call me maybe!"

"Okay..." I said, rushing off to my locker.

I stuffed my backpack into my thin locker, not caring that everything was spilling out. I wish I could just move back.

I walked to my first hour, Health. Ew. We were learning about diseases today. Wow. Fun. Unless they had food, I wasn't interested. I fell asleep instantly.

_"Bryanna!"_ Someone whispered to me, poking me with a pencil.

"GET OFF ME YOU PERVERT! THIS BODY IS FOR ME, NOT FOR YOU!" I screamed.

Our teacher, Mr. Trampoline glared at us. "Quiet down ladies! Now as I was saying, a symptom of this disease is having a mole on your cheek…"

I, not listening, looked at "The Poker", and realized it was Swahili.

"What did you poke me for?" I whispered, teeth clenched. I was having a dream about winning the key-lime pie eating contest.

"That guy is looking at you!" she whispered, back, pointing across the room. "His name is Liam Garlin, in case you're wondering", she winked at me.

"UGH. I DON'T CARE." I groaned and fell back asleep.

After class, that guy, Liam came up to me and asked me, "Do you have a disease?"

"WHAT?" I screeched. "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?"

"Mr. T said that a symptom of a disease was having a mole on your cheek!", he said taken aback.

"WHEN?"

"Never mind..." he snickered.

_STOP SNICKERING AT ME!_, I thought_, WAIT OMG SNICKERS! _I pulled one out and ate it. I ate messily, crumbs and chocolate spilling out.

Liam started laughing. "You're so weird!" he said, then asked, "Could I maybe have you're number?"

"ShURe sINg." I said, catching falling crumbs with my hand, my mouth full of snickers. I quickly scribbled my number and ran away, embarrassed.

2nd hour:

I had math second hour. Swahili wasn't in my class this time, I frowned. As much as I hated her for waking me up, she was still basically my only friend. _IT'S ALL THIS MOLE'S FAULT._ I was really craving snickers, so I hid behind a book and started stuffing my mouth. Then I fell asleep, once again.

After school, when I was doing my math homework, I realized I didn't know how to do it! My mom was out, so I was by myself._ Wait!_ I slid open my phone and went to the contacts. I scrolled (it didn't take that long) to the name I was looking for. I pressed the call button, and waited.

* * *

A/N!: haha second one in one chapter! I tried a cliffie! BOOYA! Did it work? No? okay (insert okay meme here.) Actually, it's not okay… nah im just joking it's okay. WHO IS SHE CALLING? That's for Phineas to decide I have 3 more things to say. One, I did not mean to offend anyone, so if this is offensive, im sorry and I did not mean it. Two, if you couldn't tell, me and Phineas are alternating writing chapters. Three, Actually, that's it! OKAY BYE.

~FERB


	3. Chapter 2: Telephone by Lady Gaga

A/N: YOOOOO READERS! VAS HAPPENIN'? :D so I hope you enjoyed the last chapter written by Ferb and this one! HAPPY READING! Also, I apologize in advance for the creepiness. :P

-Phineas

I dialed the familiar number and heard someone answer.

"WHAT YOU WANT. Y U NO CALL YO FATHER?" my mother barked.

"I NEED HELP ON MY FIFTH GRADE MATH HOMEWORK." I shouted back.

"WHAT GRADE AH YOU EEN?"

"12TH."

"BAD. YOU NO GET ANY SANDWICHES." She hung up.

I, unable to complete my homework, had no other choice but to call Jay Yinkelberg. I heard it ring four times before I heard the familiar dark and chocolate-y voice.

"Hello?" he asked, sounding a little overexcited.

"Um, heyyy…" I replied seductively. "Wanna come over?"

"YOU KNOW IT. YOU KNOW I CAN'T RESIST YOUR LOVELY DARK MOLE." He yelled, unable to contain his excitement. I couldn't help but wish for something more; but my chubby father was coming home soon from his trampoline making job.

"Yeah, but you know that the reason I want you to come is because I need help on my math, right…?"

"Yeah, whatever. As long as I get to see your mole I'm good. I'll be right over. I already know where you live," he creepily stated. For some reason, I felt flattered.

"When I heard the doorbell ring, I sprinted to it as fast as I could (which wasn't very fast) and threw open the door. I blinked.

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME SNICKERS?" Liam Garlin screeched.

"Why are you here?" I asked, not caring if I sounded rude.

"I came here to say something to you. I think I-" His words were cut off by Jay swaggering up my driveway.

"Who's this handsome lad?" Jay asked. I think I turned a little green from my usually yellow-ish skin due to my extreme jealousness.

"Well, Liam, I think it's time for you to go." I interrupted the suggestive looks they were giving each other.

"Wait-" Liam protested.

"Yeah, I like nobody too. Bye!" I shoved Jay in my house with my gut and slammed the door in Liam's face.

"Well, time to stu- DANG. WHY DO PEOPLE'S SENTENCES KEEP GETTING CUT OFF?" I stopped rambling because I noticed Jay was leaning in. "Well, YOLO. Let's forget about the math homework." I raised my unibrow. I could feel his warm breath tingling on my lips. I licked them, sensing a faint hint of cherry chapstick. I leaned in also. He raised his hand and…


	4. Chapter 3: Jealous Guy by John Lennon

Chapter 3-

A/N: OKAY GUYS! Good to see you keep coming back for more ;D. I think the winky face made it sound sexual o_o. I didnt mean that lol. BTW THE TITLES FOR EACH CHAPTER ARE SONGS, DESCRIBING WHATS HAPPENING. Also, we know we were supposed to update before, but Phineas's wifi was down so we could only update today, and to make up for that, I'm uploading MY chapter early. SO, KK PEACE! Enjoy! And sorry if it's short. -FERB

...and high-fived me. I smiled.

"Oh, by the way," he said, mesmerized by my mole.

"MY EYES ARE UP HERE!", I interrupted.

"Okay, well anyway, do you want to go to the Smurf festival with me?"

"YES!", I screamed, desperate.

"Okay then, see you!" He said, leaving.

The next day

The first thing we went on was the Ferris Wheel. Actually, the first thing I went on was the Ferris Wheel. The employee said both me and him couldn't go on it, or else the ride couldn't move. Jay let me go on, but I was very lonely.

"EW that lady has a mole!", a kid in the cart under me said.

I, very offended, rocked back and forth in my cart, threatening to crush him.

However, my cart tilted just a little too back...

"AHHHHHHH!" I screamed, falling to what might be my ultimate death.

"NNNOOOOO" Jay cried. "Grab a trampoline, QUICK!" He pushed all the kids off the bouncy house and pulled it under.

(Yes somehow he did all this without Bryanna falling yet.)

"SAVE ME STEVEN!" accidentally screaming out the wrong name.

"STEVEN?" Jay shouted in anger and jealousy. "WHO'S STEVEN?"

Before Bryanna could answer, she fell, completely missing the bouncy house and landing on Jay.

"Oomph." Jay murmured, before shutting his eyes and passing out from the weight.

I called an ambulance, however, I was too overweight to ride in it and was forced to walk.

That's it, I thought, I'm going to get a six pack. Haha wait who am I kidding?

I walked to the convenience store and bought him flowers and chocolate.

When I gave them to him, he whispered, eyebrows furrowed so they looked like a unibrow, "Did you get this from Steven?" he whispered, teeth clenched. "WHO IS THIS STEVEN?" He shouted, (and you can tell, cuz it's in caps lock.)


	5. Chapter 4: Stephen by Keha

Chapter 4- Stephen by Ke$ha

A/N: Hey guys! So, as you will soon find out, this chapter is in Jay's POV. Normally, they are all in Bryanna's, but sometimes we will switch it up :) so... I hope you enjoy this one and REVIEW :D

-Phineas

Jay's POV

When Bryanna called out a stranger named Steven's name, I felt something hit me like a ton of bricks, maybe even more. Wait-never mind, that was just Bryanna. I vaguely watched her climb off of me before I passed out from the weight. When I woke up, I found myself in a hospital bed and there were flowers and chocolate on the nightstand. I looked around the dimly lit room and saw Bryanna panting in the corner. I felt anger surge through my veins as I remembered her screeching Steven.

"WHO. IS. STEVEN." I pounded my fist on the nightstand and watched as the flowers fell to the ground, shattering the vase. I think it represents my heart right now.

"He." she panted. "Left. *pant* "Me."

I groaned in disgust and tore out of the bed, ran out of the hospital, and into the woods full of trees. I kept on running until I felt a heavy body slam into me.

"Really, again?" I sighed. I looked up into the eyes of Swahili Baker. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I only hoped she didn't have a "Steven." I gave her one of my sexy faces, which believe me, I have a lot of, and danced my tongue across my lip, reaching my snakebite. I pulled myself off of the ground and dusted off my pants. I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out a...


	6. Chapter 5: Before He Cheats by Carrie U

A/N: Hellooooo my beautiful readers! I hope you enjoyed dat last part cuz I certainly did! :D Anyways, I don't own Hannah Montana…. Sadly lol nah jk. Also, unlike Carrie Underwood, Bryanna does not "dig her key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive", or "carve her name into his leather seats." The only reason I used this song is because it talks about cheating lol okay. ENJOY THE CHAPTER AND YOUR SUMMER

~oh and i also just realized that Ke$ha is showing up is Keha and i dunno why i've tried fixing it... so the last chapter's song was by Ke$ha and this chapter's song (cuz it wont fit) is by Carrie Underwood. Thats it.

~Ferb

A ring with a diamond wedged in it, the size of a speck of dust.

Swahili gasped "OH. MY. DONUTS! IT'S BEAUTIFUL AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"

I grinned giving her another one of my sexy looks, meanwhile glancing around hoping Bryanna was watching me cheating on her. I had to make her feel what I felt with Steven.

"Umm", Swahili said sassily, "is there something wrong with your face? It looks like you're twitching in agony."

I quickly stopped making the face. "Uh yeah.. Hahahaa I'm just.. Uh you know... Still hurting?"

"Awww you poor thing! You can come over to my house later and we could watch a movie and eat some popcorn!", she said winking. "How about Toy Story 3?"

"I LOVE THAT MOVIE", I said, and suddenly my voice started cracking, then I broke out in sobs."I JUST LOVE TOY STORY THREE! LOTTO WAS ALL LIKE IM A GOOD GUY AND THEN LOTTO WAS LIKE AHHAH I TRICKED YOU IMMA BAD GUY AND WOODY WAS ALL LIKE NOOO GOTTA SAVE MY FRIENDS AND BUZZ TURNED ALL WEIRD AND MEXICAN AND THEN HE FELL IN LOVE WITH JESSIE AND JESSIE IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER AND THEN THERE WAS-"

-meanwhile-

Bryanna's POV

My homework was overdue now, and I still didn't know how to do it. I got out of my dinner chair (it broke AGAIN. AND NO MOTHER IT WAS NOT BECAUSE I HAD 10 SERVINGS OF DESSERT.)

I was getting very desperate for help. I took my phone out of my back pocket and opened it. I scrolled through the five names i had (Dad, Jay, Liam, Mom) and found Swahili's number.

I dialed and waited, but I got sent to voicemail. I got very angry and threw my phone at the wall, where it shattered into a thousand pieces, and i threw myself onto the couch.

"MOM MY PHONE IS BROKEN!" I yelled, face planted onto the cushions.

"DID YOU SIT ON IT AGAIN?" she called back.

"NO MOM THAT WAS LAST WEEK!"

"OH! WELL DID YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK YET?"

"NO I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT! CAN YOU HELP ME?", I said, running into the kitchen.

"I can't I'm making dinner! Why don't you call your grandmother?"

"I don't have her number! She said she was too embarrassed her bingo friends would find out I was related to her or something..." I rolled my eyes.

"oh well what about your friend? (notice how it's singular :D) Go over to her house!" My mother replied, cutting celery up.

"Okay!" I said running outside.  
Hmm should I bike or drive? Maybe i should bike... AHAHHA who am I kidding? I'm driving dawg!

I got into my car and drove down my street. "AHA! Here it is!" I said parking at the house a minute later.(Swahili's house was two houses away from mine.)

I got out and rang the doorbell.  
I heard a voice inside say "Don't worry Swahili I got it! This part's too emotional for me anyways."  
I heard footsteps getting louder and louder, and soon the door was opened by... JAY?

"JAY YINKLEBERG!" I screeched. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT SWAHILI's HOUSE?"

"Who's at the door Jay Yinkle-bear booboo sweetie mcKinnykins?" Swahili called from inside the house. (LOLOLOLOLOLOL OKAY SORRY I WAS JUST TRYING TO COME UP WITH THE WEIRDEST NAME I COULD LOLOLO)

I narrowed my eyes and spoke in a low, death threatening tone. "Jay Yinkle-bear booboo sweetie mcKinnykins?" I was so mad.

"Get out of my way." I growled.

"Make me."

"I WILL GO OVER TO YOUR HOUSE AND CRUSH YOUR MOTHER!"

Knowing I was perfectly capable of this, he quickly rushed aside and let me in.

"Oh hi Bryanna!" Swahili smiled when she saw me. Oh how I loathed her. I, very angry by now, turned to the tv and threw it on the floor. Then I rolled over it until it was broken.

"BRYANNA! WHAT THE HECK?" Swahili screamed as I ran out to the door. Jay was still standing beside the door in a daze, and I punched him in the face, knocking him out before running.

I ran four feet before getting too exhausted. I sat down and rested on her front lawn for an hour or so. I pulled out a snickers bar and devoured it, and kept on eating (maybe 20 bars?). My cheeks were full when I heard Jay call out to me.

"BRYANNA!" he said.

HOW DID HE EVER FIND ME? I wildly wondered. I got up as fast as I could and started running. I was too tired however, and sat down again, crying, two inches away from where I started.

"BRYANNAAAAA!" Jay yelled, chasing after me.

"Jay Yinkle-bear booboo sweetie mcKinnykins!" Swahili screamed after HIM.

"STEVEN!" I called, just for the heck of it.

"THERE'S THAT STEVEN NAME AGAIN! WHO IS HE?"

"Why should I tell you?" I said, wiping stray tears from my eyes.

"OR ELSE I'LL PICK UP SWAHILI AND CRUSH YOU WITH HER!"

"You couldn't pick her up if you tried!" I snickered, then pulling out another Snickers bar and eating it, savoring the gooey chocolate.

Jay tried and tried, before finally admitting "Okay fine I can't."

"Told you." I rolled my eyes, sucking chocolate off the tips of my fingers.

Jay's eyes darted around the area, then, with an evil grin on his face, said "I'll take away your Snickers."

"I'LL TELL I'LL TELL!" I screamed, bursting into tears.

(By the way, in case you're wondering where Swahili is, let's just says she fell asleep.)

"A while back, Steven and I were dating. He wanted to keep it a secret though, and I didn't know why. Until our fourth date, when we were at a donut shop. I was stocking up for the day, and Steven was with me. However, his mom suddenly showed up. Steven was too embarrassed to be seen with me, and he jumped into a lake saying his mother was going to laugh at him for dating such a fat loser, but I know that was just an excuse. But anyway, he never even said goodbye."I said, flashing back. "On the bright side, he turned up three months later! But whenever I tried to talk to him, he would sprint into a lake, or a bush, or a tree or something."

Jay patted me. "It's okay, and I understand now. I'm sorry for being such a jerk."

"Forgiven." I replied, but being clumsy, I slipped and fell on a sleeping person.

Swahili suddenly woke up and said "HEY WHATCHU TWO KIDS DOING ON MY LAWN? GET OFF!" (she's uhhh suffering from memory loss now.)

"Swahili?" Jay said, looking as confused as I felt.

"WHO'S SWAHILI? IM HANNAH MONTANA! Oh wait I wasn't supposed to tell anyone!" Swahili, err I mean Hannah, opened her eyes wide. "Y'all won't tell, right?"

I shook my head no.

"SWEET NIBLETS THAT'S BY JOLLY GOOD! POSSUM! You can call me Miley!" Swahili, wait no Hannah, I mean Miley, or whoever this person was said.

"Um okay..."

"YOU GET DA BESSSSSST OF BOTH WORRLDS!" whoever-she-is sang.

I was very confused, so I grabbed Jay and stuck him under my arm, and I ran as fast as I could away. Fueled on all my Snickers, I made it to my house.

"Thanks." Jay said. "She was freaking me out. Anyways, I think we should go out somewhere to make up for the ferris wheel."

"Okay", I smiled, "where are we going?".

"We're going to..."


	7. Chapter 6: Rolling in the Deep by Adele

Chapter 6-'Rolling in the Deep' by Adele

A/N: HERRO READERS. Lol sorry my chapter before was kinda short :P so…how's life? OH YEAH AND ENJOY THIS CHAPTER :) OKAY BAI. Oh wait-this chapter is going to be in Bryanna's POV, just saying. And I don't own Snickers bars or The Woman in Black…gladly…lol when I went to go see it I almost peed my pants and had to sleep with the lights on for like a week XD OH, and I don't own Twizzlers or Skittles. Or David Tennant…as much I want to lolz. He is quite the sexy beast XD

-Phineas

"…THE MOVIE THEATER. WE ARE FINALLY GOING TO DO SOMETHING NORMAL. I HEARD WOMAN IN BLACK IS PLAYING?" Jay excitedly fangirled. "OMG, DANIEL RADCLIFFE IS SO, LIKE, THE S-E-X-Y WORD! Hehe I'm such a bad boy! (A/N: insert 'watch out, we got a bad $$ over here' meme) So, how about Friday night?"

"I-um, okay…" I stated, not paying attention to Jay but instead the giant glazed donut sitting atop the roof of the donut shop. I felt some dribble dribble out of my wide mouth as I daydreamed about stuffing it in my mouth. Ah, the joys of being able to fit all of the food in the world in my mouth at once…

The clock tik-ed slowly until Friday rolled around. Which is pretty ironic, seeing as rolling is my fave way of transportation. As I jogged, (well, rolled, actually) to the movie theater, someone drove by and I heard "YO MAMA SO FAT SHE GIVES HERSELF GROUP HUGS. (A/N: insert 'forever alone' meme here) Wait, you are that Bryanna girl's mother, right? Well, close enough." (A/N: pretend they had a long enough time to say all that :3) I, not getting the joke as usual, continued to roll on the sidewalk until I was stopped by the police.

"Excuse me, young man, oh wait, I meant young, er, lady I guess? Well anyways, your rolling has been in the way of several cars, causing a traffic jam. We must ask you to stop or we will find a punishment suitable for you. In this case, it would probably be to chain you to a tree on the grass and starve you." He stated grimly. I hadn't realized, but my head was sticking into the middle of the road because the sidewalk was too small for me. I stared at him in horror; feeling like this was more of a death sentence than punishment. Making the okay meme face, I nodded and ate a Snickers bar for energy and started trudging at a turtle speed to the nearest theater, which was a block from where I am now.

When I finally got to the theater a couple of decades later (pretend everyone's still alive), I spotted Jay Yinkelberg sitting on a bench eating a bucket of popcorn looking very bored and annoyed. I casually walked up to him and tried to begin a conversation.

"HI JAY YINKELBERG." I batted my eyelashes flirtatiously and winked at him.

"Why are you so late?" he said, not bothering with politeness.

"I, er-rolling, and the pops, uh, Snickers, um, yo mama?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MAMA?"

"Nothing…OMG WAIT. I NEED SOME FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD." I reached into my gut sized satchel and pulled out a giant bowl of the custard and a huge plate of fish fingers.

"Okay. Let's go in. (not out hehe) Daniel Radcliffe is waiting for me. And if you get too scared, let's just go to that pirate movie." Jay said. I was pretty surprised that it was still playing after all this time, ALWAYS. We swaggered in (LIKE A DRACO LOLZ) and found our seats. Well, actually, I took up all of the seats and Jay just sat on the floor. When all of the commercials were finally over, the beginning started and I almost got a heart attack when those three girls jumped out of the window (one was ginger, I think :3), and that was NOT all of those Snickers talking. I looked to my right and saw that Jay was gone. I immediately assumed he went to the pirate movie, but when he came frolicking five minutes later with a bag of Twizzlers (ahem Ferb, sound familiar? XD), I jumped (all the seats broke after that) with excitement for I had eaten all of my food. I snatched the bag from Jay's hands and stuffed it plastic and all, into my mouth.

"WATCH IT WAN." Jay screeched. "THOSE TWIZZLERS ARE !"

"TASTE THE RAINBOW!" I hollered back, taking a random stranger's Skittles and chucked it at Jay.

During all of this commotion, a random dude stood up and bellowed, "BRYAAANNAAAAAA! BRRYAAAANNNNAAAAAAA! MY NAME IS STEVEN! BRYANNNAAAAAAAAAAAA! DO YOU REMEMBER ME? !"

I dropped everything and slowly turned to face him. As I noticed from the corner of my eye, so did Jay. What I saw, though, wasn't the papery skin of Steven. Instead, it was a guy with very messy hair who had a mental look to him.

"SO THIS IS STEVEN?" (pretend like his voice sounded like Snape in AVPM/AVPS)

"Um…." I mumbled, quite confused. Turning to Steven, I asked "What's your name again?"

"Oh, Kendall! Kendall Luciel! Wait no-I'M THE DOCTOR."

"Doctor who?" I asked.

Just then, before I had a chance to ask any more questions, Jay turned to me and said "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME WITH THE DOCTOR. But then again, I don't blame you. David Tennant is quite the looker." He winked and strode out of the theater leaving me more confused than ever. But, since I'm pretty used to that, I sat down and started eating the entire Hogwarts feast while watching the Woman in Black possessing little children and making them kill themselves.


	8. Chapter 7 My Fat Baby Loves To Eat

A/N: lol that last chapter was quite amazing lol… but now I have no idea where to start this chapter off, but ya'll know I probably did figure out a way if there is some text below this sentence. Anyways, sorry for not posting in like forever but yah. Lol Phineas kept on telling me to update and stuff hahah. anyways…. I dunno even what to say im really tired lol but whatevs so im just gonna end this note in a really awkward way riiight here…

~Ferb (btw the song is by Stewie Griffin)

After watching the WIB, I walked through the exit of the theatre thanking the stars that I remembered to bring butter, because God knows im too fat to fit through doorways. I walked like two feet before some guy tapped me on the shoulder.

"WHAT?" I whirled around.

"HELLO DER." Jay Yinkleberg winked at me.

"OMG WHY ARE YOU SO STALKERISH?" I kicked him in the shins and he fell over.

"What was that for?" he yelled.

"CUZ YOU WOULD RATHER DATE DAVID TENNANT THAN ME?"

"Well, You can't blame me. You're not the most attractive nor thinnest person out there."

A lightbulb went off in my head as I came up with the most brilliant plan ever. I pressure-pointed Jay and he blacked out, hopefully for an hour or two. Then I pulled out mounds of snickers from who knows where, and stuffed them in my mouth, slowly gaining weight. After a few hours, Jay awakened to see my face full of Snickers.

"WHAT THE-"he screamed, and then I executed the final part of my brilliant plan. I rolled over him, until he was probably half-dead, and when I was done, ate more Snickers as a reward. Afterwards, I waddled out of the theatre, and into my mom's truck. I sat in the trunk and my mom drove away.

Back at home, I fell asleep sprawled on the carpet, until a "DING DONG!" woke me up. I put on my Crocswith sweat socks of course, and opened the door.

"HEY DUR GURFEND WHATCHU DUIN IN DA HOUSE TANITE?" Liam asked.

"Umm not much… You?"

"I JUST WAAAASHED MY HAY-AIR." Liam winked, then with the pokerest poker face I've ever seen, "FEEL IT." He demanded.

"Umm okay….. OW WHAT THE HECK WHY IS YOUR HAIR SO WEIRDLY SPIKY? IT FEELS LIKE A PINEAPPLE!"

"Oh I used alllllll of my hair gel on it. YOU LIKKKKE?"

I pulled a pineapple from my back pocket and stabbed it with a knife.

"THAT'S HOW I FEEL." I said, in a deep voice. "HURHURHURHURHURHURHUR."

"WELL I HATE YOUR CROCS!" Liam screamed, shutting the door.

Then, Jay Yinkleberg came out of the closet. Literally, not metaphorically. "JAY WHAT THE HECK GET OUT!" I screamed.

"NO! I CAME HERE TO TELL YOU I'M DUMPING YOU FOR SOMEONE ELSE!"

"Who?!"

Suddenly, Kendall Luciel came out of the closet too.

"KENDALL?!"

"Yeah! I'M DUMPING YOU FOR KENDALL!"

"But KENDALL'S A GUY!"

"SOOOOO?"

"SO YOU'RE A GUY!"

"UMMM YEAH I THINK I KNOW THAT!"

"Oh so I guess you metaphorically did come out of the closet?"

"Um duhh. I thought I made it pretty obvious. Why else would I be hiding in your XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL shirts?"

"Good point."

"HEY!" Kendall interrupted, pulling out his clarinet.

"WHAT?!" I screamed.

"THOSE ARE MY SWEAT SOCKS!" Kendall said, snatching them off my feet.

"NOW WHAT?!" I wailed. "IM GOING TO LOOK SO STUPID WITHOUT SWEAT SOCKS WITH MY CROCS!"

Kendall stabbed at my window with his clairinet, and he and Jay, holding hands, jumped out of the hole.

"I like your Crocs", Liam winked at me from who knows where.

"GET OUT!" I screamed.

A/N: I just read this whole thing over and realized it made like no sense lol but you know… that's how life is hahaha love ya'll for reading kk bai. ～Ferb


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